Why always me?

WHY ALWAYS ME?

The entire class suddenly went silent as soon as I walked away from my seat a few distance away from where other students were seated to return the missed call of my sponsor – Elder Dele.

If it’d been in my school, we’d jokingly say an Angel has just passed by because of how the noise had  all of a sudden died down. 

But this was not my school, it’s a well populated tutorial center and the general subject we had on this particular day is the reason why the class has been so noisy that even the teacher found it hard to control us. And so when at my rising to make a call the whole class went dead silent, you know how even I myself would have been amazed.

I was still trying to figure out what had caused the sudden quietness when the noise returned almost immediately, but this time around, it was something I didn’t get to figure out on time.

“Yeepah! Wetin be this?” someone exclaimed from the back of the class.

I turned my head towards the direction of the teacher to see if he’d just written an impromptu test on the board to have caused such stir among the students, but it was none if it. 

My legs were hurting by now so I shifted my body's weight to the right leg, with my left hand akimbo as I silently cursed the unstable network.

Who knows what Elder Dele wants to tell me now that this network is doing like this?

“Oh my gad! I swear I’d never come back to this center if I were the one,” a girl with a tiny voice said.

“Aiye mi oo!”

“Haaaa Stella!”

It was at this juncture I decided to look back at the class because I’d began to sense that I was the real cause of the whole drama.

I wish I hadn’t turned back.

The different awkward facial expressions that met me is not something I pray to see again, for ever.

What’s happening? Why all these weird looks? I'd wondered.

Before I could guess what was wrong, Pauline, the proprietor’s daughter ran towards me and hugged me from behind, with her mouth placed right away beside my right ear.

The words that came out quietly and gently from her mouth made me wish, that the earth opens up its mouth and swallow me up whole.

My sky blue mini gown had been terribly stained with my menses!

It was so shocking and shameful. 

I stood transfixed at a spot, holding my phone limply in one hand, obviously at a loss of what to do at that very moment. Standing still there means I’d be a gazing stock for as long as I remained there. And going back to my seat to at least get my bag and leave for home immediately appeared like a herculean task as my feet suddenly felt like two bars of iron.

When will I ever be free from this shameful experiences my body system has ever been bombarding me with? I'd thought.

“I should have outgrown this for Christ’s sake!” I didn’t know when I blurted that out, with teary eyes.

“You said?” Pauline asked.

“Never mind dear. Thanks so much for your love. Can you help me get a cardigan, please,” I asked soberly, “so I can tie it around my waist to cover the stain?”

“Stella, have you forgotten that we’re in the dry season? Who’d dare put on a cardigan at this period of time?”

“Haa!” I made to place my interlocked palms on my head, but I quickly realized that all eyes were on me already. Creating another scene would be unintelligent, I'd thought.

Pauline came up with a life-saver of an idea.

“I think I know what to do,” she started. “Helen came to class today with a long scarf. I can help you borrow it from her and you’ll make do with it. I’ll also bring your bag along, just wait for me here.”

I was skeptical about Helen’s releasing that scarf of hers. “Would that girl called Helen release her scarf for this kind of mess?”

“Stella, don’t sound like that now, she’s a  fellow girl and she understands all too well,” she said but on a  second thought, quickly added, “well plan on buying another one for her in replacement of this one sha. The scarf doesn’t look expensive in any way, so just go get another one for her before you come to class tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow you said? Not me! In fact, I don’t think you guys would see me for the rest of this week. It’s really humiliating, Pauline!”

“Hey, Stella, this conversation is getting longer than necessary. Besides, Mr.  Bob might just tell us to go back to our seats without welcoming any complaints. Just hold on for a minute, I’d be right back.”

Gone, I stylishly turned my back from the class because Pauline has been the one covering my stained dress as she remained at my back all the while we were discussing.

My heart melted when I saw a group of boys obviously having a nice time laughing mischievously and pointing to my direction from time to time.

What even broke my heart the more was when I saw my crush slap the back of another boy, laughing real hard.

I just couldn’t bear it any more. I felt like crying there and then. 

But the unkind students were not  yet through with me, as my ears caught the words of one of the girls sitting at the front.

“Just imagine, as old as she is, oughtn’t she to have known when her period is coming and adequately prepare for it?” she hissed.

I could have frowned at that statement, but it was so right that I got thinking.

I think I no longer understand the physiology of my this body of mine oh, like seriously. If I’m not mistaken, that was how I got a public embarrassment in an inter-school competition I represented my school in just last session.

It was just like this one, abi, yes. I’d just seen my last period barely two weeks before the next one came and met me in a very  wrong place – a public place!

In fact, this very same thing still happened to me two months ago when I stood to read a Bible verse in Church on the first Sunday of the month in a Sunday school class.

And to say  I was elegantly dressed and seated at the front seat! It was one brother who sat beside me that quietly told me that my dress was stained at the back. That was the last I had of that Sunday’s service. I went home immediately we were through with the Sunday school.

Last month, my flow came at the normal timing.

And now, this embarrassment again!

The next statement I heard from another girl made me feel like beating her up there, without any delay.

How could she have said that I was only brilliant and smart in academics but not smart in taking care of my body and calculating my ovulation correctly?

My ears burned.

“Hey, I’m sorry babe, I just had to convince Helen enough that  you’ll certainly get another scarf with the exact design for her. I think you were right before, she was just so reluctant to release the scarf,” Pauline said as she wrapped the scarf around my waist from behind, while I did the tightening at the front by myself.

We walked silently but briskly towards the gate from where I’d take a bike home.

Why is my own case always different? I’d wondered. It’s really becoming more difficult for me to handle.

I’d gone for medical check-ups, but I was told that everything is OK with me. But the way my body functions is something I don’t like discussing. 

How my body system operates is simply a mystery to even myself.

If my physiology is meant to be a problem to me, then I’d rather go find a lasting solution to it. 

I simply can’t take it anymore.

Writer Details:Hundenu Gloria

Location:Federal University Oye Ekiti,Ekiti State,Nigeria 🇳🇬.