SEX EDUCATION
*When you hear sex education, what comes to your mind?!*
Initially, I thought it was for adults who are married or about to get married because I wasn't taught in school despite hearing most times that children should be taught Sex Education.
Back then, whenever I saw posts or news on the Importance of Sex education to children, many questions ran through my mind and I often got confused.
Maybe because of the word
" *sex* " being involved, I didn't do any research nor ask the necessary questions, the reason being that I feel I don't need it and it was not something I should know of then.
Growing up, it got clearer and I begin to see why children should be taught sex education.
Many parents, teachers, and elders teach the younger ones sex education in which they paint sex as a " *bad* " thing.
*But is sex bad?!*
No, they're not wrong, it is *EXTREMELY BAD AND WRONG* when you do it at the wrong time.
When is the wrong time????
*When you're not MARRIED.*
We were told that if a guy touches a girl, she would get pregnant.
Is that true?
*Yes and No.*
How?
YES because the "touch" they meant is not 'physical' but 'sexual'
and for the NO, because a girl can't get pregnant from a guy's physical touch.
They painted it wrongly, some even demonstrated the 'touch' which portrays physical touch.
Let me tell you a story of a girl named Vivian, Vivian was a church girl and she was a very obedient girl to the parents and the elders.
She carefully lived her life and had no boyfriend throughout her university days (to avoid getting pregnant as she was initially told)
She wasn't only told that sex is bad but was also told that she would go to *hell* if she had sex.
She lived by it until she met her man who tied the knot with her.
On their first night, they decided to do the 'sex thing' because that was the teachings they had learned.
She was fully ready to satisfy her husband but guess what?????
She couldn't have sex with her husband!
Why?
Her vagina kept closing and whenever her husband tried to insert, she would groan in pain. The penis couldn't enter at all.
You are also thinking it's normal because she was a virgin?
Yeah, she thought the same way and so did her husband.
And of course, it is normal to feel pain in your first sex.
They decided to wait till the next day or maybe try some other time.
Vivian with her husband tried continuously but they couldn't do it nor get a solution because the same scene kept recurring.
They decided to visit a medical professional and they were told nothing was wrong. They were even treated for something that wasn't wrong with them.
*So what could it be?*
In the long run after spending lots of money, energy, and effort, Vivian was diagnosed with "Vaginismus" by a therapist.
*Vaginismus?!*, what could that be? How did she get it?
Vaginismus is psychological.
It's the involuntary tightening of the Vagina muscles whenever anything wants to penetrate.
Does that mean she was scared of sex? No, she wasn't 'physically' scared of sex because she knew she would have sex with her husband.
It is a psychological thing.
*Vaginismus is not dyspareunia.*
Vivian's brain believed everything it was told in the past about sex.
Her brain believed sex was *BAD* and she should stay away from it such that even when her body wants it, the brain keeps controlling the vagina's muscles to tighten up.
```What am I insinuating?!
Teaching Sex education WRONGLY could lead to unwanted problems.```
Now to our elders, teachers, and parents, 'teach' sex education correctly.
Do not create unnecessary fear in young people's minds.
There's a level to the teachings just like it is in schools (Primary- Secondary- Tertiary).
Do not teach Tertiarily when your child is at the Primary level and vice-versa.
Sex is forbidden and a sin you would be punished for IF you do it PREMARITALLY.
Sex is NOT BAD when you're at the stage you should have it.
...and even after all that the teachers made them believe (by creating fear), aren't there girls and guys out there doing it with their full chests?
Some of them, after they found out they were told a fairy tale, venture into it completely and even encourage others to do it with them.
Many women are suffering from Vaginismus and they have been treated wrongly, accused of being a witch, and accused of having a spiritual husband.
Some would even be taken for deliverance and the like.
Vivian was lucky to have a nice and patient husband. He suffered emotionally with her and tried his best to protect her from families, inlaws, and the public.
Different things could cause Vaginismus ranging from sexual abuse, trauma, wrong belief et ce tera.
Vaginismus is a psychological thing that has a great effect on MENTAL HEALTH.
VAGINISMUS can easily be treated with the help of a therapist or even by yourself with the help of your partner when you have the right knowledge.
TEACH SEX EDUCATION CORRECTLY!
Writer Details: Fatiah Ayomide✍️
Location: University of IIorin,Kwara State,Nigeria🇳🇬.
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