PORN

PORN

“Sir, do you mean I’m not a bad person even after being addicted to pornography,” victor said, wiping the tears in his eyes with the back of his palm.

“Yes, you are not a bad person, statistics have it that three to six percent of adults watch pornography, it is viewed more by young adults with men viewing it more than women.” Mr. Phillip stated

“Are you serious sir? Does that not make me a bad person? I mean if everyone is engaging in it, does it mean that I’m not a bad person?”

“Now, it is not because you are a student leader in this department, many people are looking up to you, and somehow you feel like a hypocrite”

Victor nodded, he is unhappy that he is doing this and he can’t just stop.

“Scientists are debating if heavy use of pornography is an addiction in the medical sense of the world, but a situation where it becomes a central focus and interferes with your personal life to the point where you neglect other important things in your life is not a good thing and should be looked into.

“You should understand that even if scientists are yet to decipher if it’s bad or not, getting addicted to things like this is bad, especially when it takes a chunk of your productive time and results in nothing but unproductivity.”

“Those nights you were supposed to do other productive things and move a step forward, you fall into watching pornography, not because you want to, but it’s like you are being compelled and pushed like there is an adrenaline rush and you can’t control yourself.”

“Exactly sir, I remember failing a test because I didn’t prepare, I watched porn all through the night,” victor said and sniffed.

“Do you use porn to cope with difficult emotions like pain and anxiety and sadness”? Mr. Phillip asked adjusting his glasses.

Victor was silent.

“I asked a question victor”

“yes sir, even while my mom was ill, I was sad and later on, I would watch it to calm myself and ease stress,” victor said looking down at his toes.

“if someone corrects you or tells you to stop watching pornographic content, do you get angry?”

“ no sir, I’m always ashamed about it, but I can’t help it either,” Victor said.

“It’s alright child, this aspect-getting angry when told about it is the highest level of problematic pornographic use, and thank God you are not here yet, let us move to the next thing”.

“But sir, what about someone who gets angry when told”?

Mr. Phillip exhaled.

“Such persons need to see a therapist and the therapist will only be able to help when they have accepted that they have a problem, if they continue to see it as normal, it might be very difficult helping them”

“the truth is that there are no grounded causes of watching pornography” Mr. Phillip started .” for some, it’s a coping mechanism which later gets to become a habit and causes a disorder, for some, they just wanted to improve their sexual life and ended up getting addicted and this causes a lag in their relationships.

You need to understand the effects of watching pornography

Pornography can affect satisfaction from sex, you get bored when your partners can exhibit the same way as those actors you watch. Some people, don’t get easily aroused any longer because of the content they consume while for some, they are easily aroused and always crave intercourse, whatever the case may be, this simply causes a problem for their partners.

It can encourage mental disorders

Can affect your daily functioning and make your head filled with images of the people you watch, it makes you unproductive

Lastly,  for religious person, just like you, it is considered a sin against God, it causes defilement to your body too.

Mr. Phillip stopped to look at victor, by now he had become silent and is looking right back at him, he continued.

“let us go to how you can stop this, whenever you have the urge to watch porn, try watching something else, something you also enjoy, it could also be an activity you like, just do something to distract you.

Again, you need to see a professional therapist to help you out, someone you could always call and talk to.

You need to see it as being wasteful, always create a picture in your head that pornography makes you unproductive, this can help.

During the day, take a stroll, visit people, never stay alone, get busy, something that clouds up your mind and makes you less idle. (let it be something you enjoy doing, something that won't overwhelm you).

Get an accountability group or partner that would follow you up and please try to be sincere with them.

Victor’s eyes were dried now, he was no longer crying.

“I could help you with the accountability, conquering problems like this is not always easy, it takes time and consistent efforts, I want to see you good and productive,” Mr. Phillip said standing up and inviting Victor for a hug.

“I don’t condemn you, victor, I believe we can overcome this,” he said.

Abstract: try to get a friend or someone like Mr. Phillip who doesn’t condemn but wants to see you grow, and become better; being accountable to such people is really going to be of good help to you.

Writer Details:Odiga judith✍️

Location:University Of Nigeria,Enugu State,Nigeria 🇳🇬.