what a life!

What a life!

You know how we all hear about people or rather girls being in toxic relationships and we swear that it can't be us that we would never ever let ourselves be used like that, well, I said it too and I meant it when I said it, until I met Kelvin, he was the best guy ever. He is the kind of man you would describe as your dream guy. He is tall, fair, muscular, smart and very understanding. Everything was going smoothly until the day he came home, at the apartment we shared, drunk and mad at every single thing and at life itself.

I can't say that I fully understand what went wrong, but that day was the beginning of my nightmares. Since then he comes back drunk, beats me, insults me and abuses me like I had no say over anything going on in my life anymore. 

Kelvin became more of a dictator than a boyfriend.  Everything I did, from what I eat, to the clothes I wear, even the way I pack my hair, Kelvin had a say in it.

I can't begin to count the number of days I went to work with a black eye and the same lie that I hit my face on the door, a lie that nobody believed because doors don't have fingers. I isolated myself from my sister and best friend all because he thinks that they are influencing me into disobeying him. My friends kept on telling me to leave him but some things are easier said than done. I finally got to understand the plight of those girls I insulted for not being able to leave a toxic relationship.

One day, I found out that I was pregnant I was so happy because I thought that it will finally give him a reason to be happy once again. I told him when he came back that I was with a child, his child, that day I got the beating of my life I had more than a black eye to show for it, I had a black life. He took more than just my baby that day, he took my joy. He came to the hospital and apologised with food, pizza, drinks and promises and I just had to forgive him because what will my life be like without him.

Unfortunately, they were just empty promises and I didn't realise that until I lost the fourth baby and the use of one ear. Yeah, I became deaf in my left ear. 

It wasn't until my 27th birthday that I found out that he was cheating on me. I guess that finally broke me because having lost four pregnancies, the use of my left ear and the joy in my life I guess that corrected the loose knots in my brain and I finally began to see what my friends and sister have been seeing. A week after my birthday, (a birthday he totally forgot) I broke it off with him. Funny enough I thought that he would apologize or beg me to stay but I guess that 5 years in a relationship didn't leave a dent on him.

It took me time to go back to what and who I was before I met Kelvin.

To all the girls out there going through a lot in the hands of men, speaking from experience they would make you feel like life without them is worthless but let me tell you, life without them is a bed of roses. Surely roses have thorns but that doesn't reduce the beauty of it and let me remind you that even gold will be worthless in the hands of someone who doesn't know it's worth. So before any man begins to dictate or determine your value, pack up your bags and leave while you still can.

SAY NO TO TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

SAY NO TO BEING TREATED LIKE YOU WORTH NOTHING

Writer Details:Ogbuka Tessa✍️

Location:College of Nursing Ihiala,Anambra State,Nigeria🇳🇬 .